A year gone by

What a difference a year can make. Last year this time I was gearing up to be a graphic designer, find a real job in my field and be superwoman. This year I am preparing for a daughter and trying not to lose my identity all at the same time.

This year will prove to be challenging as we try to reintegrate our family and raise a baby…together. I have so many fears as my last infant experience was lonely and very hard to press through. We both have so many challenges as we are both used to being in charge and having things done our own way. It takes daily work to compromise and be okay with differences. I know our kids are better off having both of us and our unique personalities and knowledge. We need to remember the small things in life, remember that family is most important and that we will get through this. Our kids are healthy, we are healthy and we all have and love each other.

Love the tree

The past few days have shown me that he can be quite a saint and that having him here with me is the best feeling in the world. I cant push him away, he’s always going to be there and comfort me. I need to bend and let loose, find the fun in life and just be happy with what I have. It’s definitely good enough, even if you don’t have a stove or a dishwasher, floors, who needs ‘em? Not me, I really don’t. I just need him and his support and love. It makes a world of difference.

Baby Fever

Picture of a baby in an eggSomething about being a woman ingrains us to have baby fever at some point in our lives. Well maybe not ALL women but I happen to know it happens a lot. My best friend is currently eight months pregnant and I am so glad for this. I can spoil this sweet little girl with all of my affection and then go home to my crazy 3 year old. You would think that with the amount of energy my son has would turn me off but I would love to have another baby. There is something about that cute little innocent baby that makes you yearn for one every so often. I always wanted to have my kids close together, and seeing as that is not in the cards right now it is kind of a sore subject for me. I am trying to just be positive about the situation and let life play itself out. When people around you are going thru things that you have always wanted sometimes it’s hard not to be jealous.  I am very glad for my best friend though. I am able to help her with certain situations since I have already been thru them and also live thru her just a little bit! It also helps that I am so busy right now with school and trying to start my career off in the right direction. It keeps me dreaming of how I want things to be and making goals for myself to get there some day!